her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
