Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
