you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
