so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
