i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
