You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
