why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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