"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
and you fell through a lawn chair
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
