Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
