I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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