Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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