dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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