do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
