We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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