yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
