dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
