How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we're making bets on your personal life
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
