when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize