Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
