Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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