I think I died a long time ago.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
