we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
