You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
