Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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