ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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