its not stalking. its research.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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