I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
