Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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