There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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