Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
