i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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