Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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