If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
