My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
