What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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