I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
