I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
When are your genitals available?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
