Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
