we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
