Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize