i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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