White coat. Heels.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
