Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
