I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
