the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
