my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
