As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
