my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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