Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah, where have you been?

(407): View more from Florida

Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.

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(650): View more from California

i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf

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(513): View more from Ohio

it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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(562): View more from California

just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka

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(212): View more from New York

The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.

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(269): View more from Michigan

We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash

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(416): View more from Toronto

Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants

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