my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize