Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
