He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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