Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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