nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
