I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
