Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i think i just lost a toe
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
