that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
