ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
