I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize